Lazier than poo, always hungry, mad skills with weapons, Halo enthusiast, albino white, seemingly cursed, loves to boat, has very odd ipods, and yodels.
Lazier, hungry, mad skills with weapons, Halo enthusiast, cursed, boat, yodel, ipods.
Hungry, mad skills with weapons, Halo.
Mad Halo skills
Halo
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This needs a lot of work. I know we did the excersize in class, but maybe you could branch off a little bit. I don't think a video game would say anything about anybody.
ReplyDeleteAndy Roddick
hahaha yeah you need to give more details bout your life not your hobbie!
ReplyDeleteIt tells us alot about you now but not a whole lot aabout your life story.
ReplyDeleteThe opening image: lazier than poo....
ReplyDeleteAnd now you waste your life playing Halo. But you're good at it.
I think these are interesting topics for a poem. But these comments are right. You could've branched out a little more, thus giving us a more clear image of your life story. Not just what you do these days after school.
I can connect with the poem, as I'm also "Lazier than Poo", but I have to agree with everyone else. You could have gone into more detail about your actual life story.
ReplyDeleteJust my opinion, though.